Saturday, 31 March 2018

Day Twenty Nine and how I take a big chance, because I was forgetting I'm sober now

In the interests of remaining positive, FOUR WHOLE WEEKS DONE! Only the rest of my life to go...

A few times in the past couple of days I've just totally forgotten I'm sober and I can't decide if that's a good thing, or a bad one?

Forgetful moments

Forgetful moment one: walking into the supermarket and past the bottle shop (just one of my several regulars) to the left and mentally noting I should leave room in the trolley on my way out so I could stock up. Immediately followed by inwardly rueful smile and headshake - silly woman, no you don't.

Forgetful moment two: driving past a bar I'd always meant to try out with the Prof and thinking 'Must do that in a couple of weeks when all the tourists go home'. Then remembering - hey, I don't drink now, what's the attraction? Then thinking - well, might still be fun. Maybe.

Forgetful moment three: seeing a roadside stall selling bags of limes and thinking 'Corona' instead of 'Thai salad'.

Forgetful moment four: heading home from dropping 60% of my immediate family at the airport to visit 20% of our family (leaving only me, and the dogs, cat, chooks, and blissful peace) when the idea of going by a drive through bottle shop to stock up on wine entered my head. Only then remembering we had wine at home anyway. Only then remembering that I don't want to drink it!

Because I don't

I really don't. I don't want wine and I don't want to add gin to my tonic water - I've been looking at pickling recipes that will use up my gin since the Prof won't drink it.

But I guess there's a price for everything you do and currently the price includes reminding myself this is a good thing.

I don't want to drink alcohol. I don't need to drink alcohol. I've had my share. I forget how to stop once I've started. Moderation doesn't work for me. 

I've found the answer for me: stopping is easier than slowing down.

Everything is easier this way

Like everything. Really.

So, with these forgetting/remembering things swirling around in my mind I felt like I needed to do something that set a longer view on this sobriety gig for me. Something that would start to put a shape around 'forever', a calendar entry at a time.

The big chance

And yesterday I took a big chance, for me.  I booked into a wellness retreat (in Bali!) for October.  

I thought about doing this last year but a) money was tighter then, and b) I'm not spending money on booze now, and c) i wasn't confident enough then to go spend a week with 13 unknown women and would have needed to drink to much if I did go, and d) I didn't care much about 'wellness' then and I do now.

Deposit paid. Excitement building. Commitment to yoga and lime sodas under Indonesian sunset, begins!



  1. Good for you! I heard a comment on a bubble hour podcast. It was the author of Drink.
    she said a quote that resonated with her was 'I'd rather believe I'm an alcoholic than spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself that I'm not.'
    That applies to mr. I enjoyed this post. Peace and strength.

    1. Sorry. applies to me not mr.

    2. Totally made sense to me, George!

    3. (And I just read a similar thing in 'The unexpected joy of being sober" :-)

  2. Congratulations! Four weeks is great!! So are sober vacations.


    1. Thank you! I haven't had one (sober vacation) for many years but there's a gleam in my eye about it.

  3. Well done on the four weeks and taking the big chance. Onward and forward! Lovex

    1. Thanks Chris - your support means a great deal to me x

  4. Yes! There is a blogger who went to Bali, and it looks wonderful!!
    I love the money I have saved!
    Happy 4 weeks!

  5. That sounds like the first line in a joke, "There was this blogger, see, who went to Bali..."
    But yes. it's a hugely popular destination for Australians and hence I've avoided it in the past but this retreat was too good an opportunity to commit to wellness even more, and to stay in a non 'bogan' (Australian word - not sure of a North American equivalent, but it's not the same as redneck) area and really face up to this new world of mine with other women.

  6. Just wondering how things are. Missing reading your posts.

    1. Hi Lovely!
      Just taking a little break to see what it was like to power through - new post up now so I am back!



Day 49 - the art of keeping quiet plus TWO tests at free bars and my appy-appy-joy-joy

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